​Negative Paradigms Can Be Positive Paradigms Too

Several of my recent blogposts have offered examples of behaviors, particularly among bosses, that are considerably less-than admirable. Now, I am a firm believer that one should acknowledge, own, correct, and learn from one’s mistakes as a matter of course. Doing so requires strength of character and mind. In contrast, dodging mistakes is a mark of cowardice and fecklessness. Still, it is not enough to learn just from one’s own mistakes. There is another rich vein of error to mine for lessons: the mistakes of others, particularly those that manifest debilitating habits of mind or reveal adverse patterns of action.

​Chronic error can be a great teacher.

Certainly, one should also seek to learn from the positive in others as a rule. The admirable strengths, virtues, and accomplishments of others can serve as a guide for our own behavior and help us to develop best practices as we go about our business. Others’ successful strategies offer paradigms that we can adapt to our own uses. But I want to talk about how others’ failings can, in fact, serve just as usefully or even more so as guides toward better behaviors in ourselves if we conceive of them as negative paradigms.

Using negative paradigms, just as with using positive paradigms, is most effective when not a rote reflexive mode. If you slavishly ape the behaviors and practices of someone you admire, you likely will discover that success does not transfer directly from one person to another. Circumstances may differ, styles may differ, personalities may differ, and so on. For instance, if the person you admire uses gentle humor to motivate people but your sense of humor is more sardonic, you may struggle to imitate your model's successful formula. Despair not, though. Just take what you can learn from this paragon and adapt it to yourself and your style.

It stands to reason, then, if positive paradigms do not always simply transfer one-to-one from person to person, then learning from and applying negative paradigms will not necessarily be a matter of just doing their opposite. Just because x is wrong doesn’t necessarily mean that negative x is correct. Life is way more complex and much more fun than that.

Here is an example. Years ago, I had a boss who constantly and indefatigably toiled and was proud of how hard he worked. He firmly believed that his work ethic was, in and of itself, an objective good, and I quickly bought into that line of thinking as well.

After all, his belief is one of our most powerful and enduring cultural assumptions: that work, any work, is inherently virtuous. I started imitating him. Soon I too was too busy for anything. I came in early and stayed late, just like him. I worked on holidays and fretted about taking vacation, just like him. Think about that. I stressed over taking a vacation. How perverse is that?

​I lost perspective.

Over time, I started to see that while he was a hard worker, he was miserable and, worse, all his striving actually produced little of great value. I then reflected on what I was missing in life due to to my budding workaholism and how my own efforts generated little of value. In fact, after a certain point, value decreased the more I worked. I resolved to make better choices and started prioritizing more judiciously. Soon, although I was working less, my output improved, as did my outlook on life.

The behavior and habits of my boss had served as a wonderful negative paradigm, but if I had just done the opposite of him, I simply would have stopped working. Instead, I took what I learned from his errors and applied it to myself, adapting it to my style and the needs of my position. To be sure, I worked plenty hard, but I also began, as they say, to work smart.

As this story suggests, negative paradigms can be just as and even more instructional than positive paradigms. They not only offer models to avoid, but they can give one perspective that is not readily accessed otherwise. Negative paradigms offer powerful insights when we perceive how things are done wrong and can inspire us to reconceive how to do them right, but negative paradigms are only one tool for self-awareness and improvement. My own practices have evolved as I have paid heed to a mix of negative paradigms, positive paradigms, candid introspection, and research to determine how to best achieve my own goals while adhering to my principles and values. Applying each of these elements, these tools and paradigms, is critical to formulating an effective approach to one’s distinctive success. In this way, even the negative can be a positive.