Let’s start with The Matrix because, why not?
Cypher is the character played by Joe Pantoliano in the 1999 movie The Matrix. He’s the one who betrays his comrades in exchange for living out his life in comfort back in the computer simulation called “the matrix.”
For the uninitiated, the matrix is a simulacrum of our world that is indistinguishable from reality. Almost all humanity is plugged into it and blissfully unaware of the ruse. In other words, you can live out your whole life completely ignorant that what you call “real” is entirely fake.
Cypher becomes disenchanted with the world of reality, and who can blame him? Humans there live underground in dystopian conditions. Their clothes are coarse, their sky is artificial, and their food is gray. Worse still, there’s always the threat of impending doom from an attack by the machines. No wonder Cypher wants out! But reality does have one advantage over the matrix. It’s really real.
Time to Wake Up
Here’s a weird one for you: Are you awake? How can you be sure?
This doozy of a question has perplexed humans for millennia. It’s not only the stuff of late-night dorm-room bull sessions, but it’s a quandary that has launched theological movements, shaped schools of philosophy, and inspired countless works of art and literature. Even Plato grappled with the nature of reality and perception in his Allegory of the Cave.
Someone once observed, “It’s only when you wake up that you notice you were sleeping.” It’s a thinker, a puzzle, a paradox. Consider how often you operate on autopilot, un-present and unaware of your unawareness. It takes an act of consciousness—triggered from the outside or from within—to realize we’ve been sleepwalking. But, then again, if we never wake up, we don’t know what we don’t know. Our so-called reality might be nothing more than a dream or hallucination—yours, mine, ours, all of ours, or some cosmic being’s nap-time revelry.
All this speculation on the “what is reality” theme boils down to one terribly inconvenient truth: we humans are really good at fooling ourselves. That movement in the darkness there—maybe it’s a ghost or a ghoul, a wild animal or a prowler, or is it a glitch in the matrix? Probably it’s just a figment of a fertile imagination. Whatever the case, we must recognize that all self-delusion is a form of deception.
But first, let’s acknowledge the occasional upside to kidding ourselves by considering a few scenarios—the white lies of self-deception:
The mediocre runner who convinces herself she can win the big race, thus pushing her to place higher than ever.
The abysmal student whose impossible dream of getting into med school keeps him slogging along until, against all odds, he finally earns that bachelor’s degree.
Or, the scrappy young entrepreneurs whose absurd aspirations of fame and fortune drive them to greater success than they otherwise would have achieved.
Although they all fall short of their delusional ambitions, those very ambitions motivate them to do better.
So, a pinch of self-delusion can sometimes spice up our performance, but let’s face the facts. The scenarios I described stand out precisely because they are exceptions. In the vast majority of cases, delusion is our enemy. As deception, it’s a form of corruption, warping our sense of self and the world around us.
And the human brain is a self-deluding machine, which is why years ago I started wondering about the soundness of my own perceptions. When I was a young university dean I turned to the wisest person I knew and asked if there was any way I could be sure that I was not fooling myself as a leader. Maybe I was a train wreck and just didn’t know it. I asked him, “Oh wise one, how can I know I’m not just deluding myself about everything.” After several long moments of contemplation, my friend replied simply, “By asking that question, grasshopper.”
Mic drop!
And that’s just it. We combat our self-delusion through skepticism, by poking and probing our lazy beliefs using practices such as conducting an assumption audit. How do you know for sure you’re not dreaming right now? I have no idea, but by daring to ask such tough questions, you inoculate yourself against complacency and open yourself to possibility.
The Cue to Cure
Victor Frankl wrote that “The cue to cure is self-transcendence.” We should probably unpack that a bit. Frankl’s not saying self-transcendence—dumping the old self for a fancy new upgrade—is the cure itself. He says it’s just the “cue”—a hint, a nudge, a gesture in the right direction. Self-transcend, and then you’re positioned for the cure. But to get to that cue—self-transcendence—we must first become self-aware.
Okay, so how do we become self-aware? Here’s the tricky part: we must somehow extract ourselves from our unawareness, and unawareness—by definition—escapes our notice. How often, for instance, do you contemplate the sea of invisible air you live your life in?
And there’s another wrinkle: just as you can’t become self-aware without shedding delusion, you can’t build and improve your character without self-awareness. What’s more, you can’t lead effectively without a solid character, which in turn opens us to the other necessary elements of great leadership: communication, compromise, and collaboration.
To recap, we must shed delusion to become self-aware and to build our character, which is foundational to great leadership and which pushes us toward self-transcendence and eventual cure or improvement. Rube Goldberg’s got nothing on this chain of circumstance.
For the true leader, Frankl’s focus on “cure” has particular resonance. Leaders are committed to growth, and “cure” is their forever goal. Think about it. A cure is simply a way to get better, and getting better is what every leader strives for.
So if you’re a leader or want to be one, you must first shed your unawareness, wake up, and face reality as it is, which Plato says is downright impossible. In fact, he argues that we’re all trapped in a world of shadows and illusions separate from reality. But here’s the good part: being aware of our unawareness helps us cope and compensate. Or at the very least, it shifts our perspective in a more positive direction.
True leadership demands all this ongoing effort and more, which is why being a genuine leader is so much more challenging than being yet another lousy boss. It’s also why so many people—like Cypher from The Matrix—prefer to live in blissful unawareness, consciously or otherwise. After all, facing reality is rarely a pleasant stroll through the park. But, then again, it is transcendent.
The Cypher Effect
The thing about Cypher is that he’s no leader. No one looks to him for direction or inspiration. Outside the matrix he’s a soldier living in squalor. So, he strikes a deal to double-cross his comrades and return to the matrix where he can believe he’s eating steak and living in comfort. That’s what bosses do—protect themselves by indulging in delusion. Let’s call it “the Cypher effect.” In contrast, true leaders don’t have the luxury of retreating back under the fluffy covers.
That’s why Cypher is never in charge of anything. If he were running things, he wouldn’t be a leader. He’d just be another self-centered boss.
I’ve had the misfortune of working under bosses who, like Cypher, flat-out rejected reality for their own comfort. They pushed fantasies about our fiscal health or pretended that their horrible behavior was a-ok. They made decisions based on their own lies and left destruction in their wake. Their delusions hurt others, damaged their organizations, and even made them, the bosses, miserable, but they persisted. More galling, every single one of these toxic bosses was utterly convinced that they were a phenomenal leader. What a bunch of Cyphers!
Real leaders take a radically different tack. They start with the understanding that they might very well be delusional, so they constantly question their assumptions about reality and themselves. This isn’t the same as imposter syndrome because it’s rooted in an immutable and universal fact: We can never fully know or understand reality, especially the reality of our own selves.
Great leaders are on a perpetual quest for self-awareness and self-transcendence. They start with a dose of self-skepticism and welcome observations and even criticisms from others. They know perfection is the ultimate delusion, so they instead aim toward constant improvement (“cure”) and inspire others to do the same.
Here’s another paradox. I’ve argued that ego is poison to a leader.
Excessive self-interest and self-regard will impair a leader’s effectiveness. Then again, I’m over here arguing for leaders to focus on the self to dispel self-delusion and achieve self-transcendence. That’s an awful lot of “selfs” for someone advocating against egotism.
Of course the key difference is purpose. The egotist builds up the self for its own sake. In contrast, self-awareness is an honest reckoning. It tears down the self and its delusions as a step toward self-discovery and improvement. That’s how we move toward authenticity and transcendence.
This is the way of truly great leaders. They serve others by constantly improving themselves. It seems so simple when put that way, but it’s monumentally challenging to actually live out. So ask yourself, “Are you awake yet?” Good. Now the fun begins!
Are you truly awake? How do you know?
Great leaders constantly probe their perceptions to dispel delusion, and I can help.
Unlock the Great Leader Within! Download my free resource, the Transform To GREATness Toolkit, now!
I look forward to hearing from you.
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The Leader’s Challenge: Rising from Delusion to Self-Transcendence