Well you can tell ev’rybody
Down in ol’ Frisco
Tell ’em
Tiny Montgomery says hello
How do you master the tiny moments in order to make big changes?
Two airliners take off from Newark Airport back to back and head due west. On one, the passengers are dressed for warm weather and sport sun hats. Their luggage is brimming with lightweight clothes and sandals. On the other, the passengers are wearing long sleeves and long pants. Their suitcases are stuffed with extra layers.
After some miles flying west, one plane alters its path a few degrees south, the tiniest of tilts. The other does the same a couple of degrees north. Several hours later, the first lands in Los Angeles, the other in Anchorage. Just a subtle change in trajectory makes all the difference.
In his poem “The Swing,” Seamus Heaney writes,
Fingertips just tipping you would send you
Every bit as far – once you got going –
As a big push in the back.Heaney is describing the momentum of a child on a swing, which can easily be maintained or even increased with the slightest of efforts.
The Mighty Sway of the Tiny
As a Tiny Habits coach, I have particular insight into the power of tiny in our lives. We imagine that every big action requires big effort, but the opposite is often true. We tell ourselves that every bold adventure starts with a bold movement, but we are mistaken. It is most often the little movements that define and redefine our lives.
Just as the radically different destinations of those two planes as well as the destinies of their passengers are set by the slightest of navigational adjustments, just as a child can swing higher and further and harder due to the lightest touch of a companion’s fingertips, the trajectory and outcomes of our lives often come down to the tiniest of choices, the smallest of actions, the little things.
Great leadership too manifests in the little things, which is why great leaders must be great leaders all the time. There is no break, no downtime for a leader because even a minute movement can convey to others the type of leader you are. Are you a leader of integrity — a great leader — or are you a leader of circumstance and entitlement — a mere boss?
My focus here on small details may seem superficial. After all, any number of leadership gurus will tell you that leadership is all about the results — the destination — not the getting there. And, yes, results are crucial, but great leaders know that focusing on the process, even the superficialities, is how to achieve excellent, long-lasting, and replicable results.
I am not suggesting that the secret to great leadership relies solely on surface appearances. I am maintaining that the tiniest things are vital to great leadership — the well-timed and sincere encouragement, the extra acknowledgment, even just showing up on time and being present. It is amazing how many people in leadership positions just don’t show up for real.
A Little Effort Makes All the Difference
Once when I was an executive, I had a new administrative assistant. She was young, and the challenges of her position were many. Still, I was quite pleased by her performance. She was great at setting priorities and solving problems on her own, which were necessary skills for someone in her position. I convinced myself that I conveyed my admiration for her every day.
It took a conversation she had with my wife to shake me out of my delusion. At some point in their discussion, my wife mentioned how highly I spoke of my assistant, who was surprised and told my wife that I rarely expressed my satisfaction directly to her. She had been anxious all along because she did not know her standing with me.
When I heard this, I was confused. Didn’t I always indicate my regard for her work? After all, I granted her a great deal of autonomy, which I would not have done if I thought she was doing a bad job. On further consideration, though, I realized that she lacked any objective way to recognize my respect for her. I had been neglecting her by not expressing my assessments clearly and directly.
Think about this scenario from her perspective. She was new to the job, relatively new to the workforce, and newly getting to know me. She had to guess at whether she was doing things well and, worse still, guess if I thought she was doing them well. While I conceived of my hands-off approach as a sign of how happy I was with her, she had no way of knowing so herself. It must have been torturous for her, the exact opposite of what she deserved and what I intended.
After that I simply made a point of praising her directly when she earned it, which was frequently. I witnessed how such a small thing could induce a massive improvement in her outlook, her well-being, and her performance. Her mood lightened, and she came to trust me more just as I knew I could count on her.
I can only hope that my little boost to her confidence was timed early enough in her career to provide her the momentum to progress professionally.
Such a small thing, a little extra effort on my part — a gentle nudge with the fingertips — and she could soar.
And yes, yes, yes, don’t get me wrong. The big things are incredibly important to great leadership. Leaders have to be willing and able to step up and make the biggest decisions, face the biggest challenges, launch the biggest initiatives, and navigate the biggest changes. But it is mastering the little moments — the small quotidian realities — that prepares great leaders for bold moves. The minutest efforts often launch those bold moves. The slightest changes to a trajectory can be the difference between arriving in L.A. or in Anchorage. The lightest touch can move things foward. Great leaders know that they must master the tiny before they can master the big.
How aware are you of the little moments? How well do you understand how attention to the tiniest behaviors can help you master the big things?
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Intro and outro podcast theme music by LiteSaturation from Pixabay.
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