You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you.
Have you ever noticed that the person taking a group selfie is usually the most prominent figure in the photo? It’s as though they’re the protagonist in some unwritten narrative. If every picture tells a story, these selfies broadcast that one person matters more than the rest. Although sometimes spun as “personal branding” on social media, such photos may be visual manifestations of main character syndrome (MCS) at work.
MCS represents a particularly grave danger to effective leadership. Literally and figuratively, leaders often stand in front of others, which is not coincidentally where all the attention gets focused. If an organization were a narrative, the leader would be the natural protagonist. But while perhaps practical, it can go too far, particularly when the leader displays signs of rampant main character behavior.
Main character syndrome (sometimes called “main character energy”) is a manifestation of solipsism—the belief that the self is the only thing that matters or even exists. It’s related to narcissism, but—unlike that affliction—it’s not a clinical diagnosis. Another difference is that narcissism is on all the time while MCS can be turned on and off. Think of MCS as narcissism-lite: all the self-absorption with half the disorder. We see it everywhere, particularly on social media.
Philosopher Anna Gotlib warns of the pitfalls of MCS in an article for Aeon. One of the hallmarks of MCS is the conviction that others exist only to round out the main character’s story. Gotlib compares these side characters—the rest of humanity!—to a video game’s non-player characters (NPCs). An NPC’s sole purpose is to enhance the player’s (the main character’s) experience.
While Gotlib notes the association of social media with the prevalence of MCS in our culture, she points out that it also occurs in more analog settings where people yearn to be noticed. Arguably MCS has long existed. In fact, we can find examples from centuries ago.
MCS in the Seventeenth Century
One of my favorite nerdy activities is to read the daily entries in The Diary of Samuel Pepys. A lifelong Londoner, Pepys kept his meticulous journal for over nine years, starting in 1660, a span that begins with the R n estoration of the British monarchy and includes the Great Plague and the Great Fire of London.
While the diary is a fascinating chronicle of the era, it’s a perfect example of main character syndrome. Perhaps it’s just the nature of diaries in general, but Pepys casts himself as the principal player in the story of his age. He has no illusions about his social status, which was middling, but every tale he relates, every event he recounts, and every action he takes is entirely from his perspective. He rarely shares someone else’s tale.
We can surmise from his careful preservation of the journal that he wanted posterity to perceive him as a central character in the London of his day. Simply put, but for his diary, Pepys would have been forgotten; the diary itself and alone projects him as a main character. It’s a group selfie with Pepys in the forefront.
And what a group it is! Pepys includes nearly 3,000 side characters—from King Charles II on down. Their roles? To amuse, annoy, assist, betray, advance, hinder, attract, repulse, titillate, or confound him. He has affairs, beats servants, molests women, quarrels with his wife, and gossips about rivals with abandon. Whatever affections or remorse Pepys experiences, they dissipate as soon as he moves on to his next exploit. In this first-person-diarist game, every Londoner who isn’t Samuel Pepys might as well be an NPC.
If Pepys had access to TikTok, he’d be the internet creator of his day, posting countless reels of himself rolling his eyes at the boorish behavior of his frenemy, Sir William Penn, detailing his latest dalliance with a maid, mugging for the camera as his wife confronts him, and excitedly reporting from the scene of the Great Fire in progress.
The Downside of MCS
If main character syndrome sounds appealing—I mean, who wouldn’t want to be the hero in every narrative?—consider its downside. It is, by definition, a perversion of reality. Those other people? They’re actual people. And here’s a fun fact: in the minds of some of them, you’re the NPC!
Main characters move through life disengaged and uninterested in others. They lack empathy and perspective. Their public persona supersedes the authentic self. Their need to self-promote supplants core values. Their every failure becomes someone else’s fault. Thus, MCS not only twists the reality of others, but it also distorts one’s identity.
Even when the main character acts benevolently, they do so primarily out of a desire for praise, influence, or gain. The MCS sufferer somehow manages to be giving but not generous, sympathetic but not empathic, nice but not kind, welcoming but not accepting, and demure but not humble. The main character may cheerfully include others in their selfie but—like Pepys—only to command the scene.
In our modern workplace culture, which tends to reward such behavior, bosses displaying main character syndrome can be particularly damaging. Perhaps you’ve worked for someone who dominated every meeting with bold but empty pronouncements. Then there are the bosses who think that every problem is an epic battle between them and some nefarious other and that they’re the only ones who can fix things. They take everything personally—good or bad—and have no awareness or concern for how their behavior affects others.
As an example, witness our emerging class of oligarchs—the billionaire tech bros—who place themselves front and center at every scene. Their self-indulgent behavior offsets whatever good they do in the world because it’s ultimately self-defeating and destructive. Whatever the cause—MCS or plain old clinical narcissism—the leader who hogs attention amounts to nothing more than yet another feckless and miserable boss.
The Upside of MCS
Although I’d never suggest that a leader who doesn’t already suffer the effects of MCS consider it an option, MCS may not be all bad for leaders. An article published by the Cleveland Clinic documents the many perils of MCS but also presents its more positive side for the conscientious and self-aware leader.
For instance, moderate MCS can boost your confidence and make you more willing to venture beyond your comfort zone. MCS may also supply the energy and the boldness needed to pursue self-improvement.
In this way, an intentional approach to MCS could serve as a leadership tool, fostering creativity, personal transformation, and innovation. All effective leaders must muster the courage to challenge the status quo and strike new paths, and MCS—judiciously regulated—may inspire and empower them to do so.
The caveat is that the MC leader must know when to turn it off to let others take center stage. They also must always remain true to themself, acting the same in the limelight as when they’re alone. Grounding in values and authenticity are important components of effective leadership and may help restrain MC behaviors, as well. Nonetheless, my advice is to lay off MCS altogether.
The Collaborative Story of Life
Gotlib acknowledges that humans create our self-perceptions, but she advocates doing so through shared narrative. MCS sufferers convey their stories but only unidirectionally, imposing their perspective on others.
As Gotlib argues, to discover our place in society and to “make ourselves morally intelligible to ourselves and to others,” our shared stories must be part of a discourse, a give and take that shapes our moral selves. This participatory narrative-making is much like the feedback loop effective leaders develop with their teams to foster a culture of trust and collaboration.
That feedback loop, the self-awareness it requires, the vulnerability and transparency it draws from, and the empathy it engenders are the stuff of great leadership. To lead well, you simply can’t afford a constant indulgence in self-regard. You can’t be Samuel Pepys, always playing the main character.
Yes, leaders are naturally in front—the center of attention—but great leaders know to use that attention to set a tone, model behavior, and drive progress. They also know how to deflect attention to empower their teams, which they recognize as collections of individuals with their own identities, stories, and agency. True leaders understand that sharing our narratives while sharing in them allows us to construct a healthy self.
So, arm yourself against MCS along with its more noxious cousin, narcissism. Learn to recognize it in yourself as well as in others and keep it in check lest it distort reality.
Most importantly, though, you must have in mind this one perfect truth at all times. You are not and will never be the main character in this first-person video game we call life.
I am.
Have you noticed a prevalence of main character syndrome in your workplace? How do you assure you don’t indulge in main character behavior?
Great leaders keep unproductive behavior, such as main character syndrome, in check, and I can help.
Unlock the Great Leader Within! Download my free resource, the Transform To GREATness Toolkit, now!
I look forward to hearing from you.
Intro and outro podcast theme music by LiteSaturation from Pixabay.
Have you noticed that my podcast sound has improved in recent months?
I started using Descript to record and edit my podcast, and if you record sound and video, so should you. Descript’s AI assistance has transformed my process and improved my recordings. Now editing is a breeze!
Interested? Use my affiliate link to try Descript for free: https://get.descript.com/t8zotbxmi6ds.
Let me know if you try it out and what you think.
Need a speaker or a podcast guest? Invite me!
Need an engaging and experienced speaker for your event? Check out my Speaker’s Page.
Looking for a dynamic and insightful podcast guest? Check out my Podcast Guest Page.
I’m Dr. Jim Salvucci, an author, keynote speaker, coach, and consultant. I served higher education for 30 years as an English professor, dean, and vice president before founding Guidance for Greatness to guide young bosses to become the next generation of great leaders. I’m a certified Tiny Habits coach as well as a certified Thrive Global coach and life coach and hold leadership certificates from Harvard University and the American Council on Education in addition to my Ph.D. from the University of Toronto. Central to my leadership philosophy is that all great leaders are decent humans as well as great teachers, guiding their people and their organizations through values toward success. My goal is to guide today’s young leaders to become the next generation of great leaders by offering practical strategies on values-driven leadership.
Coming Soon!
Look for my new book, Greater than Great: How to Excel in Leadership through Learning, Logic, and Life to Make a True Difference in the World, in early 2025!
Share this post