You’re so busy doubting yourself while others are intimidated by your potential. Anonymous
Have you ever felt like you’re faking your way through work and life? This happens to most if not all of us—the phenomenon that has come to be known as “imposter syndrome.”
As a leadership coach and as a fellow human being rumbling along this rugged road of existence, I’ve encountered this syndrome more times than I care to ponder. You know it well. It’s that insidious nagging voice that tells you, "You don't belong here," despite all the evidence to the contrary.
So, Who Am I to Talk about IS?
Imposter syndrome is like a pop-up ad—unexpected, unwelcome, and unhelpful. Who clicks on those ads, anyway? Well at some point or other, we all seem to click on that one pop-up that tells us, “you’re a fraud, and everyone knows it.”
Sound familiar? I hear that voice even now as I write this: “who am I to discourse on imposter syndrome when there are actual mental health pros out there researching it?” I could be the (im)poster child for imposter syndrome. But I pun. (See? I can’t even get a joke right!)
But, we know that while professional studies are invaluable, there are plenty of insights to be had from personal experience and keen observation. So let’s delve into our own analysis of how IS most often operates in the individual.
The Four Faces of Imposter Syndrome
1. Humble and Proud of It
Let’s start with the more positive side of imposter syndrome. IS can be an ego inhibitor, keeping that self-satisfaction in check by tempering overconfidence and even arrogance. And we know that ego-discipline is a key ingredient in the recipe of great leadership.
Take Mike Modesto, for instance. He’s a solid manager who’s not afraid of diving into tasks alongside his team. Even so, Mike often feels inadequate, that he’s in over his head. He could let those feelings drag him down or cover them up with hubris, but he reframes them by focusing on reality.
For one thing, he knows that some of his team members are simply better at specific tasks, and he’s totally fine with that. His role, as he sees it, is to guide his team to excellence, not dominate them. This reframing requires humility, that hallmark of great leadership.
Mike has shifted his inner mantra from, “I’m not good enough,” to “I’m here to keep this great team humming along." And that’s something to rejoice in.
2. Broke-Down and Burnt-Out
This one is probably the most common and tragic face of imposter syndrome. Like a parasite, IS saps your confidence and drains your energy while infecting you with paranoia and self-doubt. It starts with fleeting feelings of fecklessness and, in the worst cases, ends with you actually willing yourself into genuine incompetence.
Meet Darla Doughter. Nothing ever seems to go her way. Every new task piles onto the seeming Everest she must scale each day. Her boss compounds this situation with his work-dumping and nitpicking. Meanwhile, her coworkers all seem so together. Darla doesn’t dare let them see how inept she really is.
She pushes herself harder and harder just trying to keep up, convinced she’ll be exposed as a fraud at any moment. Darla wonders, “How did I ever get this job in the first place?” The doubts and stress mount higher than her work, and, inevitably, she burns out. Her output then suffers, and she becomes the very thing she fears: an underperforming employee.
Amazingly, Darla’s coworkers used to look up to her. They were envious because she seemed destined for big success. Instead, her inner mantra of “I’m a fraud” turns out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
3. Overcompensating
Do you know what an inferiority complex is? It’s when you feel so inadequate compared to others that you react one of two ways. You either shut down, like our friend Darla, or you become aggressive and competitive, like our new acquaintance, Harry Hiehoarz.
Ever meet someone so arrogant, so bullying, so full of themself that you just know they’ve got to be a roiling mass of suppressed insecurities deep down? If not, then say hello to Harry.
Harry has to be the big man, the top dog in every situation, puffing out his chest and strutting around like Conor McGregor before a fight. We used to call this behavior “type A,” and we all know what that “A” usually stands for.
Harry exists in his own world, one where he’s supremely capable and everyone else useless. Cross him or just cross his path, and you’re likely to get a smackdown. He’s not the boss yet, but he soon will be because—well—he’s Harry! To his mind, we’re all boring Toyota Camrys in gray while Harry is a red Ford Mustang.
Let’s take a peek under the hood, shall we?
Here we can see the actual engine driving this go-getter. Is it a muscular V8 motor that powers Harry’s self-image and ambition? No. It’s more akin to a souped-up riding mower with an industrial horn.
In fact on the inside, Harry is nothing more than a confused jumble of fear, shame, and self-loathing. His perfectionism and hubris are thin covers for his chronic insecurity.
To the world, Harry bellows, “I’m competent, confident, and better than you!” Meanwhile, his inner mantra grumbles, “I’m not worthy to be here, but I’ll make damn sure these other jerks never figure it out.”
4. True, but Not Forever
As much as I hate to say it, sometimes that annoying voice telling you that you aren’t qualified is bang on. But don’t despair. Knowing and accepting that fact puts you on the path to success.
Take Trudy Truhardt, straight out of college and embarking on her first real job. Yeah, she was a good student, and the company gave her some training. But she knows she is pretty much just winging it every day. Her boss is a Harry Hiehoarz-type, and he’s made it clear that he tolerates no errors even as he screws up all the time.
She could just give up like her friend Darla Doughter, but she accepts her current limitations, knowing that they are temporary. She’s instead taps into her inner Mike Modesto, choosing self-improvement over self-doubt. It’s a daunting task, getting up to speed, but she’s improving every day. Her mantra? "I belong here, and I'm leveling up my skills daily."
Breaking the Bonds of IS
While we’ve identified the four primary faces of imposter syndrome, it’s usually not just one thing. You can bounce around among these different manifestations according to your circumstances and experiences. Whatever its form, though, unless you confront it, IS can be a lifelong burden.
Poet Noah Berlatsky captures the irony of a lifetime of IS perfectly:
I Am Old
Yet through the miracle of imposter syndrome eternally young.
You’ll want to let that one sink in a bit.
So, what’s the antidote to IS? For the weak, it’s worse than the syndrome: facing reality. Sorry to break it to you, but you probably are inadequate a lot of times—although fewer than you imagine—which puts you on a par with everyone else. Okay, start there, but definitely don’t end there.
Ask yourself, “how did I get this far?” I mean, you’re certainly not at rock bottom, so what got you where you are? Was it all luck and faking it till you make it, or was there some skill and effort involved? Be honest with yourself.
And how do others see you, really see you? It doesn’t hurt to ask for a reality check from your trusted peers. Chances are, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
IS can be overcome. Mike and Trudy did it. Sure they’re not perfect, and I largely made them up. But they’re based on real people with real experiences. People who strive to make progress every single day, which is pretty much the whole point of life, right?
So, the next time that annoying voice starts pestering you with thoughts of inadequacy and fears of being a fraud, just pause and take a deep breath. Repeat: “I am not a fraud. I am good enough and getting better.” As unique as each of us is, we are all the same in this fundamental truth: you, me, and everyone else is a work in progress. What a wonderful challenge! That’s exactly what makes life exciting.
What has been your experience with imposter syndrome? What strategies have you used to overcome it?
Great leaders strive to recognize, reframe, and even reverse imposter syndrome in themselves and others, and I can help.
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I look forward to hearing from you.
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Imposter Syndrome, Its Four Faces, and the Actual Truth