Cruelty, like every other vice, requires no motive outside of itself; it only requires opportunity.
Humans are capable of awesome acts of kindness and goodness. Our capacity to empathize can rise to levels that defy explanation. Visit a small rural community, and you’ll likely see people treating one another with accustomed friendliness. Or check out the big city where the cooperation and coordination of thousands or even millions rely upon an embrace of fundamental human rectitude.
Humans are decent to one another.
And yet, we’re also a species marked by a unique viciousness. What other animal regularly exacts such pain from its fellows on such a scale for purely gratuitous, self-interested, or venal reasons? We inflict harm as individuals and in groups, small and massive. We brutalize one another at a distance and up close; we torment perfect strangers and our most beloved intimates.
Humans are cruel to one another.
When it comes to cruelty no one goes around saying, “I like being cruel,” or, “I think I’m going to commit wanton acts of cruelty today.” At least not most people. If you encounter one who does, run!
Nonetheless, the power structures and politics of the average workplace provide a perfect arena for cruelty. From my very first post in October of 2020, I have written about the necessity of human decency in leadership and the workplace, and decency forms the thematic backbone of my upcoming book, Greater than Great. I’ve also addressed the causes and types of bad behavior in the workplace, but what about plain mean-spiritedness in our workaday lives?
Just as not all cruelty takes place in the workplace, not every workplace features cruelty. We can attribute a cruelty-free workplace culture—one built around human decency—to the quality of leadership and the team. But most workplaces are shot through with at least a vein of meanness and base behavior. Often, that cruelty too starts at the top or is at least tolerated. For whatever reason, it seems almost normal for people to ignore, downplay, or flat-out deny the prevalence of workplace cruelty, but by doing so we only deepen and prolong the needless suffering of ourselves and others.
Sometimes workplace cruelty is present in the guise of efficiency, necessity, or “just the way things are.” Other times people justify their cruelty by limiting it to whom they decide deserves it. A lot of times, it’s all just fun and games. I have witnessed and been the victim of plenty of workplace cruelty, and perhaps so have you. I must admit that I’ve also been cruel on occasion, particularly in my younger days.
Frankly, though, unkindness undermines productivity and provides no benefit to maintaining order and discipline. You can justify it all you want, but cruelty is bullshit. It demonstrates the opposite of strength and boldness. True leader’s know that correction and compassion are not mutually exclusive and that cruelty plays no role in workplace governance. In fact, the louder the whip, the weaker the boss.
While physical abuse certainly occurs in the workplace, I want to focus on mental cruelty, which takes a variety of forms that are frequently mixed and matched to maximize psychic pain. Bullying and harassment are the most obvious, ubiquitous, and complex followed closely by discrimination in all its manifestations. Underhandedness is particularly devious and vicious. The worst of all, though, is indifference, which literally denies the voice and even humanity of its victims.
Bullying and Harassment
I’m treating bullying and harassment together because harassment is a specialized form of bullying. Bullies and harassers rely on passive aggressiveness, psychological projection, denial, and—my personal favorite—playing the victim to mete out cruelty to others.
Bullies and harassers abound in all organizations and certainly infect our workplaces, where they personify the inherent incompetence of cruelty. Countering their actions can feel impossible—all the more so when the boss is the bully. Bullies and harassers, being cowards, avoid fights they can’t easily win, so the position and authority of a boss title provides the perfect cover to practice punching down.
How do you fight a bully or harasser in the workplace? The bad news is that if they’re someone in power or close to power, you’re probably out of luck altogether. But even if they don’t have direct control over you, confronting bullying behavior and harassment can be quite challenging but not impossible. It helps to have a third person who can call out the behavior, but that takes guts and some insight into of how bullies bully.
Discrimination
I think most people have a pretty good handle on what constitutes discrimination even if some willfully twist its origins and effects. Workplace discrimination involves singling someone out for harm primarily because of their identity. Discrimination’s insidious cruelty stems from the fact that it usually takes aim at something the person can’t change easily or at all, nor should they have to.
Discrimination can be macro and micro, obvious and subtle, and its effects—both immediate and cumulative—devastate the soul. Such cruelty flies in the face of functional and efficient workplace culture. Absolutely no good reason exists to practice discrimination in the workplace or anywhere really.
Fortunately, as with harassment, many laws and policies protect against discrimination. Unfortunately, despite claims and perceptions to the contrary, applying them can be much more difficult than people realize when it’s not altogether impossible. Most people suffer discrimination in silence.
Underhandedness
The term “underhandedness” seems weak given what it signifies: causing intentional harm. Compare this with many bullies who just seem built that way—mean. Some may not even have awareness of their own behavior. Same for people who discriminate. Their ignorance and bigotry often seem inbuilt and reactive—sometimes more habit than choice. None of which, of course, excuses their cruelty for a second. Aware or not, bad behavior equals bad person.
In contrast, underhanded people always have perfect awareness of what they’re doing. No matter how they justify it, their deceitfulness, deviousness, and treachery are calculated to cause pain, usually with some goal in mind such as removing or neutralizing a rival. These beasts can’t operate without the assistance of a complicit or malleable boss, that is if they aren’t already the boss.
Underhandedness is calculated cruelty. I don’t understand the mentality myself but I imagine these people suffer much inside. At least I hope they do.
Indifference
As horrible and demoralizing as bullying and harassment, discrimination, and underhandedness are, no cruelty matches the cruelty of being ignored or dismissed, particularly when you’re the victim of other forms of cruelty. I’ve written about the devastating injustice of indifference, so let’s focus on its devastating effects.
Indifference can take many forms—neglect, deprioritizing, forgetting, and so on—and it may be conscious or unconscious, often piggybacking on the other forms of cruelty. However it happens, indifference renders its victims helpless.
When we ignore or dismiss people, we literally deny their voice and very humanity. It’s the go-to move of dictators and domestic abusers. When a victim resists indifference by asserting themself, they can come across as pathetic, desperate, and attention-starved. Indifference neuters and neutralizes its victims.
The good news is that true leaders never indulge in bullying, discrimination, underhandedness, or indifference, but that’s not all. They also actively oppose cruelty, regardless of source. While leadership requires tolerance in most areas, cruelty demands zero tolerance.
Rare is the person who identifies themself as cruel, yet workplace cruelty persists—even thrives. True leaders have a responsibility to eliminate it where it exists and prevent it where it doesn't. Anyone who practices, condones, or disregards cruelty can never be a leader—they're at best merely a boss. Furthermore, if you're a leader, protecting your people from cruelty isn't optional; it's imperative.
What types of workplace cruelty have you witnessed? How did you respond?
Leaders must develop and maintain zero tolerance for workplace cruelty in all its forms, and I can help.
Unlock the Great Leader Within! Download my free resource, the Transform To GREATness Toolkit, now!
I look forward to hearing from you.
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I’m Dr. Jim Salvucci, an author, keynote speaker, coach, and consultant. I served higher education for 30 years as an English professor, dean, and vice president before founding Guidance for Greatness to guide young bosses to become the next generation of great leaders. I’m a certified Tiny Habits coach as well as a certified Thrive Global coach and life coach and hold leadership certificates from Harvard University and the American Council on Education in addition to my Ph.D. from the University of Toronto. Central to my leadership philosophy is that all great leaders are decent humans as well as great teachers, guiding their people and their organizations through values toward success. My goal is to guide today’s young leaders to become the next generation of great leaders by offering practical strategies on values-driven leadership.
Coming Soon!
Look for my new book, Greater than Great: How to Excel in Leadership through Learning, Logic, and Life to Make a True Difference in the World, in early 2025!
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