It is still hard for me to wrap my mind around these behaviors because I've experienced a very limited amount of it directly.
What comes to mind however is, "No bad teams, only bad leaders." This is from Jocko Willink's book "Extreme Ownership."
It doesn't stop with the single bad manager - that's often learned behavior from somewhere. Many poor middle managers are a result of their manager's also being incompetent from a leadership standpoint. The poor treatment gets passed down.
It makes me think, where does the buck stop? Practically speaking, how does one truly overcome these situations, especially when they're in a role without the ability to influence at a top level (because "leadership" doesn't care what they think)?
My first thought is leave the job as the easiest answer. But it's not that simple for a lot of people, especially with how the job market has been over the past few years.
What are your thoughts, Jim? It's one thing to recognize, but how does the average person change their situation and begin the process of seeing that there are places out there where great leadership exists?
These are great questions and observations. As someone who has had several (many?) bully-bosses and has not been very effective at countering them, I don't think I have an answer except to flee. If, though, more people recognized, acknowledged, and called out bully-boss behaviors, then I dare say we might make progress. That is why I am so absolutist when it comes to bully-bosses. If you act this way in certain circumstances, I don't care how nice you are in others or what other redeeming qualities you have. You are a bully and are incompetent.
The tendency to deny, dismiss, excuse, or forgive bullying behavior fosters it. You are also right that just as great leaders beget other great leaders, bully-bosses beget other bully bosses. Thus, any response that does not call out the bully boss only perpetuates the cycle.
There is no easy solution, but it takes temerity and fortitude. You can't usually beat a bully boss since they have all the power, so, if possible, flee. At the very least, don't tell yourself, "well they're not bad all the time." That's like saying, well those people abuse their kids, but they sure do make swell neighbors. Nope.
Not the most satisfying answer, but that's all I have. Now if we are talking about bully colleagues, I do have solutions for that!
I agree - the only productive answer I can come up with is remove yourself from the abusive situation and dynamics.
Nobody deserves to endure that sort of treatment or behaviors. Yet, I've seen so many folks come into our company that have been conditioned to believe that such an environment of trust, growth, and safety doesn't exist.
It motivates me to speak even louder about what great leadership looks like.
It is still hard for me to wrap my mind around these behaviors because I've experienced a very limited amount of it directly.
What comes to mind however is, "No bad teams, only bad leaders." This is from Jocko Willink's book "Extreme Ownership."
It doesn't stop with the single bad manager - that's often learned behavior from somewhere. Many poor middle managers are a result of their manager's also being incompetent from a leadership standpoint. The poor treatment gets passed down.
It makes me think, where does the buck stop? Practically speaking, how does one truly overcome these situations, especially when they're in a role without the ability to influence at a top level (because "leadership" doesn't care what they think)?
My first thought is leave the job as the easiest answer. But it's not that simple for a lot of people, especially with how the job market has been over the past few years.
What are your thoughts, Jim? It's one thing to recognize, but how does the average person change their situation and begin the process of seeing that there are places out there where great leadership exists?
These are great questions and observations. As someone who has had several (many?) bully-bosses and has not been very effective at countering them, I don't think I have an answer except to flee. If, though, more people recognized, acknowledged, and called out bully-boss behaviors, then I dare say we might make progress. That is why I am so absolutist when it comes to bully-bosses. If you act this way in certain circumstances, I don't care how nice you are in others or what other redeeming qualities you have. You are a bully and are incompetent.
The tendency to deny, dismiss, excuse, or forgive bullying behavior fosters it. You are also right that just as great leaders beget other great leaders, bully-bosses beget other bully bosses. Thus, any response that does not call out the bully boss only perpetuates the cycle.
There is no easy solution, but it takes temerity and fortitude. You can't usually beat a bully boss since they have all the power, so, if possible, flee. At the very least, don't tell yourself, "well they're not bad all the time." That's like saying, well those people abuse their kids, but they sure do make swell neighbors. Nope.
Not the most satisfying answer, but that's all I have. Now if we are talking about bully colleagues, I do have solutions for that!
I agree - the only productive answer I can come up with is remove yourself from the abusive situation and dynamics.
Nobody deserves to endure that sort of treatment or behaviors. Yet, I've seen so many folks come into our company that have been conditioned to believe that such an environment of trust, growth, and safety doesn't exist.
It motivates me to speak even louder about what great leadership looks like.
Preach it!