Big boss man, can't you hear me when I call? Well, you ain't so big, you just tall, that's all.
Luther Dixon and Al Smith
It is high time I come clean. Why am I always ragging on bosses in my essays? It’s not that I hate every boss. After all, I was a boss, and while I am sure a few of my people would argue I was just another bad boss (and sometimes I was), I always strived to improve and had evidence that I did so. As I became more experienced as a supervisor, I tried to assure that I was a whole lot better at leading than when I started, but I also knew I could be much better still.
And that’s the thing. Bosses can all be better. If you are a boss, don’t despair. You can be a good boss. You can be a leader. You can be a great leader! The first step is to admit you have a problem, and the problem is you are a boss. All too often the last stop before hell is a corner office.
I would further argue that being a boss is largely incompatible with being a great leader, with the caveat that there are some bosses who are great leaders.
Like maybe three.
I kid. It’s eight.
But it can be done. A boss can be a great leader although bossing as we generally conceive it runs in a contradictory direction. Everything is stacked against good bossing. To be a boss in the typical mode, one must put oneself and one’s own success first even when that personal success is disguised as something less self-serving. Yes, there may be feints toward a more inclusive and open approach, but the default is me, me, mine! Some bosses, maybe even many, manage to rise above this solipsism, but they will defensively sink right back down when things get tough. It’s a form of psychological regression. Worse still, the reward system for bossing is almost entirely geared against truly great leadership. For instance, short-term gain, one-off successes, and reaching measures instead of hitting goals are often the mark of a successful boss, not overall organizational wellbeing and longterm and consistent achievement.
What’s a good boss to do?
Let me offer a partial list of the ways a mere boss can become a great leader, keeping in mind that many leaders are not bosses at all. If you want a more comprehensive and personalized understanding of how to become a great leader than I offer here, you will have to hire me. After all, I can’t just give it all away. This boy’s gotta eat too!
Before we begin, let me remind you of a few benefits of being a great leader. Great leaders know how to drive people toward a common good. They get others to do what needs to be done because they want to do it. Great leaders run highly productive organizations. Turnover is not an issue. Success is measured in actual collective achievement of goals, not by reaching individual measures. Most importantly, great leaders leave the world a better place than they found it.
A Free but Partial Guide to Great Leadership
I have to say, I write about this stuff all the time, but here it is in small.
1. Preparatory to anything else, great leadership is built on a foundation of human decency and integrity. Imagine a house that rests on a weak foundation. That house will eventually begin to sink into the earth, right? Same with leadership. Leaders who do not permanently ground themselves on human decency and integrity will sink into mere bossdom. Guaranteed.
2. Next is to know thyself. You must know who you are deep down to be a great leader, your needs, peeves, drives, and desires. What about you pisses off others? What about you pisses you off? Start your self-explorations with an evaluation of your assumptions and values. What is most important to you? Live those values.
3. Now let’s talk about communication. I don’t mean just yakking at people. A good communicator starts with listening, really listening. Some people call this “active listening.” I call it, “shut up and listen then maybe talk.” It’s hard as a boss because you are expected to speak and be authoritative and all that bullshit. Take command of the meeting! Demonstrate your authority! Great leaders know how to be in charge without taking charge. They empower their people.
4. Speaking of which, stop trying to be the authority and just be authoritative. You are the authority. Embrace your reality, but don’t fall in love with it.
5. Related to communication is empathy. I’ll write more on this at a later date, but empathy is one of the most overdone and misperceived concepts in our society. Here I mean it simply as trying to see things from another’s perspective. Otherwise, you will be talking at cross purposes. Oh, and seeing things from another’s perspective includes how you yourself are seen. It’s really hard to see yourself as others see you, so you need to find ways of getting feedback. (See communication.) As the American Bard sang,
I wish that for just one time You could stand inside my shoes You’d know what a drag it is To see you
6. Don’t be a (pick one: jerk, asshole, overbearing blowhard, bully, narcissist, or stupid #%&@*!$). It’s really that simple. Don’t be. It’s literally your choice and one of the few things you can really control.
7. While we’re on the topic, stop trying to control things. I have written about this a few times. Control is an illusion. The more you try to control, the less control you have. If you stick your thumb in every pie, you will just end up with a lot of ruined pies. Yadda, yadda.
8. Learn to take risks. Learn to accept not fear failure (your own and others’), and learn to learn from failure. We can call this curating risk and failing better. Admittedly, I struggle with this one.
9. Acknowledge as a leader that you need to have a healthy ego and are keen on gaining a degree of power. Great leaders seek power to accomplish something beneficial and never to lord it over others. And don’t forget to regularly stuff that bloated ego in a sack and throw it in the river.
There are a bunch of other dos and don’ts, such as starting with yes, solving problems rather than pointing fingers, always searching for a better way, and more subjects I have written on or may some day write on.
The most important thing is that as a great leader you can never stop. Do all this stuff intentionally all the time. Great leaders are great when they wake up in the morning, all day long, right through dinner, and as they down a scotch at night in front of the TV. Leadership is not like Batman, putting on an uncomfortable outfit to go to work. Wearing the most badass rubber ensemble does not a leader make. Let’s face it. Batman is a sociopath. Leadership is more like being Superman. The ordinary Clark Kent thing — the guy in the glasses and a flannel suit — is the costume, and that costume is not only a disguise, but wearing it all day potentially has another effect. It may, just may keep the big guy a bit humble. Superman is an altruist.
So, to be a great leader, whether you are a boss or not, you need to be most like Super(fill in the noun of choice). Always going for greatness on the inside but presenting modesty outside to the world. Always being modest on the inside, and guiding the world with your greatness.
How can you be a great boss? How can you become a great leader?
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